By Justin Trudell
It’s Halloween Week at HWID! You know what that means? That’s right, a week full of convoluted lists with a ghoulish theme! First up is the Top 10 Monster songs, as in, songs that have “monster” in the title, or something close to that if I felt like bending my own rules. Shall we begin?
10. Monster Mash – Bobby Boris Pickett
Let’s get it out of the way. Classic Halloween jam. Blah blah blah. This holds a dear place in my heart because I can do a pretty great impression of the Dracula-style “singing” in this song. Everything I have in life I can contribute to my incredible “Monster Mash” impression.
9. Feed My Frankenstein – Alice Cooper
Cheating a bit on this one. Technically, it doesn’t have “Monster” in the title, but it is known as “Frankenstein’s Monster” so…ya know, whatever. Would be ranked higher if not for the atrocious lyrics. Gems include: “I’m a hungry man, but I don’t want pizza. I’ll blow down your house and then I’m gonna eat ya” and “You don’t wanna talk, so baby shut up. And let me drink the wine from your tea cup.” Yikes.
8. Of Moon, Birds, and Monsters – MGMT
MGMT! The music is somewhat forgettable in the beginning, they bring it home with a nice solo/breakdown bit at the 2 minute mark. It then finishes with a MGMT signature acid outro for the final two minutes. The harmonies are pretty awesome. Not an exceptionally “Scary” song, but fun and trippy nonetheless.
7. Scary Monsters – David Bowie
Speaking of scary. The only thing truly frightening about this tune is the makeup David Bowie is rocking. Then again, his makeup choices throughout his career have been somewhat frightening.
6. Dirty Paws – Of Monsters and Men
One of the lesser known tracks by Of Monsters and Men, but just as catchy as the wildly popular “Little Talks.”
5. Frankenstein – Edgar Winter
Yeah baby! Nothing like a 9 minute instrumental jam to scream halloween fun! I couldn’t decide what was scarier, Frankenstein’s Monster or the hair on the keyboardist in this video. I mean, which would you rather see coming toward you in a dark alley? Tough decision.
4. Monster – Mumford and Sons
Probably the best song off their album, Wilder Mind. Mumford and Sons take a relationship thats falling apart and make one last desperate attempt to hold it together. To all the women that think their relationship should be on par with Cinderella, listen to Marcus. “So fuck your dreams, and don’t you pick our seams. I’ll turn into a Monster if you pay me enough.”
3. The Monster – Eminem
Whomever paired these two up should win an award. Two fucked up people with an incredible contrast in their style. It’s an ultimate Jekyll and Hyde combination, just in time for Halloween!
2. Little Monster – Royal Blood
Bitchin’ rock number from Royal Blood. Along with being a really cool Monster tune, this is the quintessential Royal Blood “How the fuck can only two dudes make that much noise?” song. Seriously though, there’s only two guys playing this song?
1. Monster – Kanye West
Possibly the greatest Halloween song since “Thriller”. Everything, from the theme of the song to the strong imagery of the video, make this THE Monster track. A great beat is laid down for brilliant performances by Kanye, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and even Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon. Put this on repeat at your next Halloween party. Anyone who complains should no longer be your friend.