By Justin Trudell
Yesterday, we had the list of Top 10 Monster Songs featuring songs with “monster” in the titles. Just like Alien and Aliens from the early 80s, we are adding an “S” and making this completely different! This list is about the frightening things that make up what we call Monsters. Without further ado…
13. Square Hammer – Ghost
We went to see Ghost at The Fillmore earlier this month and they were absolute monsters on stage! We could’ve picked a handful of their songs, but this one is our favorite.
12. Bark at the Moon – Ozzy
He IS the Prince of Darkness. This IS a song about a Werewolf. I AM capitalizing verbs for no apparent reason. Anyways, Ozzy has a pretty killer riff for this tune. Not quite Crazy Train, but pretty close. Well deserved spot on our list.
11. Time of the Season – The Zombies
Not at all a song about a monster, but still great. Wait a minute. “What’s your name? Who’s your daddy?” Uhhhh is this about a pedophile? Maybe it is about monsters. Let’s move on before I ruin this song for everyone.
10. Dragula – Rob Zombie
I feel like I was forced into this pick. Not the biggest fan of Rob Zombie, but a list about zombies and monsters doesn’t feel complete without him. This is his most popular song by far, pretty good one too.
9. Dracula’s Wedding – Outkast
Such a classic Andre 3000 track. Funky dance number about an odd subject matter. BRILLIANT addition of the harpsichord to lay down a riff. I mean, has any instrument been more synonymous with a creature and time than a harpsichord and Dracula, one of the greatest monsters ever. Well done Mr. Benjamin.
8. Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon
Piano riffs as great as this don’t come along often. I would like to point out there will never be a better song that includes the word “mutilated” like this Zevon classic. Also, the sheer goofiness of seeing “a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Dick’s” and never forget that “his hair was perfect!”
7. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 400
This, along with “Sandstorm” make up the House Music Starter Kit. This live version is NUTS. When listening to this by yourself in an empty house on a Tuesday night, it doesn’t resonate quite as much. Minimum amount of people you must have to join in for chanting and have optimal enjoyment is seven. It’s science. Luckily, they seem to have a lot more than seven monsters to enjoy this track.
6. Thirst – City and Colour
I choose to believe this is about being a vampire. “Fates worse than death” would be not dead and not alive, aka a vampire. “Gracefully cursed, I thirst” equals the curse of being a vampire and thirsting for blood. Also, being in love with front man Dallas Green is the ONLY thing women seem to agree on. So we have to give credit for doing the impossible like he has.
5. Perhaps Vampire is a Bit Strong But… – Arctic Monkeys
Underrated jam by the greatest band in the world (FACT). Taking a page from The Strokes, AM use distorted vocals and fuzzy guitars to lay down a brilliant metaphor about the people in the record business being the “Vampires” to watch out for. After an awesome musical breakdown we get an off-mic Alex Turner shouting “All you people are vampires!” before bringing this track home. Don’t trust anyone!
4. Zombie – The Cranberries
The slow ramp up to a powerful popping drum beat makes this deep song carry even more weight. Despite being a great musical song, I find the lyrics to be pretty weak. Whenever a hook contains “In your head” like 15 times, I have to drop it a few spots. Still, top four shows just how strong I feel about the riffs. Or maybe I just love Cranberries as a fruit.
3. Closer – Kings of Leon
The most interesting song in KOL’s arsenal. The crazy ass effects used on the main riff make for a memorable song during an otherwise very similar musical catalog. The lyrics are actually about a vampire, one of the few songs that fits the bill for this list and I didn’t stretch or try to get clever with.
2. Creep – Radiohead
Creeping around on Halloween making everyone uncomfortable, THAT’S what it’s all about baby! This is the biggest hit for Radiohead, so naturally Thom Yorke hates it. I am not a big fan of Radiohead (I just don’t get it), but it’s hard to deny the brilliance of this song.
1. The Ghost of Tom Joad – Rage Against the Machine
Simply awesome intro of the famous scene from Network get the blood pumping. Originally a Bruce Springsteen tune, The Ghost of Tom Joad is about a modern day Grapes of Wrath-like tale. Being poor, getting shit on by the rich, all that uplifting stuff. It perfectly fits the persona of Rage Against the Machine and their protest style. Really killer version with enough of a change to the original to make it their own. Get mad, like I used to when I got Good N Plenty from trick or treating and would yell, “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!”