by Justin Trudell
Times are tough, and you’ve probably checked Twitter 50,000 times today looking for something new that will kill some time. Well, here at HWID, we don’t just kill time, we murder it in cold blood. With all the thankless jobs that are keeping our society from falling into complete chaos, we wanted to rank the best songs about these heroes. If you don’t agree with the rankings, feel free to argue with us in the comments, but realize that your opinion is wrong.
11. “Jukebox Hero” – Foreigner
This is a classic, but honestly I kind of hate this song. It takes SOOO long to get to the hook, and even when it does, the payoff isn’t that great. Let’s just say I added this one because it should be on here rather than I wanted it.
10. “Hero” – Enrique Iglesias
Ahh the breathy whispers of Enrique – does anything else say early 2000s pop music better than that?! I have no proof of this, but I imagine a lot of weddings around that time used this song as their first dance. Yikes. This video is interesting though, apparently they robbed a bank, Mickey Rourke looks upset, and Enrique is wearing a knit cap in 100 degree weather and can’t seem to hold his head up straight. What a wonderful time!
9. “Hero” – Nickelback?
Let’s just get this out of the way now: Nickelback aren’t NEARLY as bad as everyone makes it seem. Don’t get me wrong, they suck, but that’s because they’re harmless, generic rock. Another early 2000s song about a hero. This seems appropriate because it was for the Tobey Maguire Spiderman movie. I can remember hearing this like five times an hour on the pop stations back then. It got old fast. Still, it’s a solid track.
8. “Short Change Hero” – The Heavy
Fucking love these guys. A nice soulful banger from these English blokes. Song is more anti-hero than hero. It’s dark… just like my soul!
7. “Hero” – Michael Kiwanuka
Speaking of soulful, welcome to the party Mr. Kiwanuka! Subject matter of the video is a bit heavier than I like from a random list like this. But, if you’ve never heard this one before, stick with it until about the 1:30 mark, it picks up substantially. It’s worth it, I promise. When have I ever steered you wrong? Hah? C’monnnn. Give it a go.
6. “Working Class Hero” – John Lennon
This is a perfect example of the difference between Lennon and McCartney’s songwriting. Both are great, and I’d say I prefer McCartney if I had to choose, but Lennon’s songs were so much deeper. They were interesting, dark, and somewhat depressing. Because he’s so right about the sobering reality of society. Gonna go cleanse my mind with some McCartney bubble-pop music.
5. “A Real Hero” – College & Electric Youth
4. “Hero” – Mariah Carey
This song is brilliant, but the video is kind of distracting. Mariah keeps getting standing ovations at really weird moments. What kind of concert is this anyways?
3. “Holding Out For A Hero” – Bonnie Tyler
Oh shit! It’s Johnny FUCKING 5! This song will forever be associate with Short Circuit 2 for me. One of the first times I felt emotions with a movie, and it was over a damn robot. By the way, Disney totally ripped off Johnny 5 to make Wall-E. Great song by the way.
2. “My Hero” – Foo Fighters
Not sure what I can say about this one, it’s probably the Foo Fighters best known song. You all know it, you all love it. Just sit back and enjoy Dave Grohl’s goatee.
1. “Heroes” – David Bowie
Legend. I miss Bowie.